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The perfect relationship

Last year, a really nice man I had met at a holiday party invited me out for a drink. I met him, we chatted; we parted after an hour. He called me the next week to invite me for dinner and I had a choice: tell one of those oxymoronic “white lies” or tell him the truth.

I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings, he was awfully nice and seemed very sincere, but when he called, I knew in an instant what I would want if I were in his shoes – I’d want the truth.

None of that “Oh, let me check my calendar,” “Oh, I can’t that night,” crap. I just wanted to give him what I knew he deserved and hopefully wanted – the truth.

As awkward as it was, I said, “You know, it’s a lovely invitation, but I just don’t feel enough of a connection between us to say yes.” There was a silence on the other end but after a moment, he said “Well … ouch. But, listen, I appreciate your honesty instead of just telling me you have to get back to me or something.” He didn’t try to change my mind or convince me of what I would be missing. He seemed to accept and respect my words at face value — something very rare in any man I’ve ever encountered. None of that usual stuff where a guy simply refuses to accept what you’re saying and dismisses your words as being nothing more than of the “no means yes” category.

We wished each other luck and hung up.

I’ve never seen or heard from him since, but I haven’t forgotten the integrity of that relationship – from start to finish – on both sides, as brief as it was, it was all true.

I think it was the best relationship I’ve had in years.

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Posted on July 27th, 2009Comments RSS Feed
2 Responses to The perfect relationship
  1. John W. Perkins
    July 28, 2009 at 8:08 am

    No Steve, it wasn’t me…

    Reply
  2. Oh I figured it wasn’t you this time John as MC would have fallen head over heels with you once she met you in person and you promised her a moonlit sailboat ride…Plus you have lots of $$$$$..:-)..MC ………….Honesty is always the best policy in all aspects of everyday life but sadly too many folks play too many games and it becomes a vicious cycle.

    Reply

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