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My best friend’s wedding

Two weeks ago, my best friend married his best girl. Married in Boston, but they came down to Florida for a post-wedding reception dinner. That was last weekend. I went up to Tampa.

And … contrary to everything I’ve ever known or thought I knew about myself … I cried like a frickin’ baby when he and his erstwhile girlfriend, now wife, re-enacted their wedding vows for the Florida contingent. Like a baby. And, believe me — and those of you who know me well know this is true — I NEVER cry. Not any more, at least. Not very often, at least. But for Brian … I cried.

Cried out of happiness. Out of something. I can’t lie and say that Oscar Wilde’s words weren’t ringing through my head — “A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” Maybe it was that idea — of optimism — that was making me cry. Maybe it’s because the cynic in me was thinking for a moment … maybe I’ve got it all wrong — maybe love does exist. Maybe you can take a flier on somebody. Maybe you can fall in love and maybe it will stick. Maybe Wilde wasn’t being cynical when he wrote those words (though I rather think he was) — isn’t it possible he was applauding the nerve it takes to walk that aisle a second time? I can’t imagine doing that myself. Believing in someone that much again.

So, maybe. Maybe that’s why I was crying.

But I know one thing: I was also crying because I love him. He’s the best person I’ve known over the last 17 years. We met at Bucknell.

brian-and-mary-008-2
He taught me about philosophy, in fact, he’s taught me more things than I can remember … and I’d like to think I’ve taught him something as well. We’ve been friends ever since the first night we met at a poetry reading. Friends. The kind that people don’t believe can exist between a man and a woman … but which, most emphatically does exist. At least for us. We’ve lasted. (That’s Bri and me in the photo … a couple of years back at a New Year’s Eve party I threw.) Through my marriage and subsequent divorce. Through his first marriage, and now this beginning his second.

And I imagine we’ll continue to last until my dotage, at which point I fully expect him to support me and my book, cat, and martini habit for the rest of my years. Um, that might test our friendship … at long last. But only because he’s allergic. Not to cats, but to my relentless indulgence of their whims. (He’s already got a word for what he thinks ails me — anthropomorphimania.)

Maybe I cried because Brian has more faith in humans — more faith in love — than I do. (Yes, I admit, I reserve my faith for felines and birds, for the most part.) Maybe I cried because, underneath it all, I’m a big softie (though I doubt it) and I want to believe in people too. In love.

Maybe I just cried because wedding vows make people cry.

I don’t know. But I cried. And weirdly. Very weirdly … I was having fun at the same time.

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Posted on February 4th, 2010Comments RSS Feed
11 Responses to My best friend’s wedding
  1. MC,
    Come on !!!!!
    You’ve got to have more faith in humanity!
    I just bought a used car today.I put my faith in a sales guy who told me he was only making 125 dollars on the car and I was practically stealing it from him!
    Yes, I wish he could have been shocked everytime he lied to me but….
    ok I agree with u ,
    birds , dogs, and if u say so cats although they don’t seem so loyal!
    And moms!!!!

    Reply
  2. Maybe you cried because you just lost your best friend to his new best friend?Trust me MC it won’t be the same anymore or maybe it will since I don’t know Brian.The first thought in my head that you were really in love with him more than a best friend but I guess I was wrong after reading your blog twice. Brian seems like quite the guy……….One last thought………………. Trust me there is love the second time around and it is great..

    Reply
  3. Most of us rational corporeal beings become anthropomorphimaniacs when around puppies and kittens.. It’s a mild form of temporary insanity.. And, I think it’s cute..

    Reply
  4. Ur friend Brian could be Daughtry’s
    twin
    I think I agree with Steves original thought.
    Somewhere deep inside of you , u liked him just a smidge more than a best friend
    But that’s ok
    I’m sure if u felt that way , he did as well

    Reply
  5. i know! and he’s just as sexy as daughtry. but no, you guys are wrong — bri and i are “just” friends — deep inside! i do love him and i am IN LOVE with him — but in the way you’re in love with all the truly special people in your life — like your best girlfriend, your mom, your best friend from high school that you haven’t seen for years, the way you’re in love with you cats so much it makes your heart feel like it’s going to burst open — yep, that’s the way i feel about brian too. he’s almost as good as a cat. almost.

    Reply
  6. IN LOVE tells me something more than loving him.All the special people in my life I love but I am NOT in love with them especially my mother yikes….Keep convincing yourself MC but now I see the light…You should have seen the light a long time ago:-) JP I am not even going to address what you said but if you need therapy I won’t charge you!Scott I have a condo on the Key for you for 100 grand:-)

    Reply
  7. You are tooooo funny!!!!!!
    I have never had a cat but u make me think
    I’m missing something.
    I’ve just asked my coworkers
    cats vs dogs
    I am in shock
    in the over 40 population
    Cats get the nod
    no wonder ur hesitant to love again
    if ur heart almost bursts from a cat
    true love wow mc I think that would put u Over the top!!!

    Reply
  8. As my friend Dan Zumbro has said many times MC we love you.Thanks for everything you do for us and other people.. PS ……. Scott get a cat and you will be the cat’s meow….

    Reply
  9. John W. Perkins
    February 5, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Steve, you need to get yourself a monkey !!

    Reply
  10. Would you like to meet my monkey John?

    Reply
  11. Hey JWP,
    When are you taking us on your boat?I will bring something to eat don’t worry.I want my man Danny Z to attend along with MC and we can figure out life over martinis.Scott D you can serve us all.PS I will leave the monkey home.

    Reply

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