Comments on: The gravy train of selling sex http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/ MC Coolidge - Author of Sideways in Sarasota Wed, 09 May 2012 23:17:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: LL http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2700 LL Tue, 19 Apr 2011 07:17:08 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2700 What does it matter to anyone why a woman wants to express herself? Who cares if it's through sexual, artistic, spiritual, maternal, obedient, defiant, profitable, or philanthropic means? There are so many ways women express themselves and none of them have had a negative impact on the future of all womankind. We continue to make huge strides forward. For that, we should rejoice! The multitude of negative connotations surrounding strippers and strip clubs (this also includes strip club owners, strip club DJ's, bartenders, waitstaff, housemoms, restroom attendants, door girls, shooter girls, security and valet attendants) are most often wrong and not based on facts. Many of the adult establishments in this country are family-owned, being passed down from aging parents to their children and are viable businesses with which they can support future generations of their families. Some of the larger of these businesses are owned by executives and lawyers and are publicly-traded companies. The Association of Club Executives is a national organization, lead by a woman, and is a highly-diverse group of entrepreneurs, well educated in first amendment law. These people are fighting for what we all want, freedom! If you have never been to the Gentleman's Club Owners Convention, held annually in Las Vegas, NV, then you probably do not even realize how many people are involved in this industry. Besides just the club owners and dancers, those who attend are lawyers, consultants, insurance companies, writers, photographers, webmasters, publishers, furniture maufacturers, clothing companies, sound, lighting and refrigeration equipment, jewelry makers, costume designers, dance schools and teachers, talent agencies, printing companies, liquor, beer, wine and food distributors, and many other business minded professionals, many of whom are women, who love what they do, are passionate and hard working and make a good living doing it. To lump these individuals into one lowly category would be a gross underestimation of their value. These are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts and uncles will are involved in a highly legitimate and lucrative industry. Please educate yourselves! When you boil it down, burlesque strip teasers and strippers do the same thing...remove articles of clothing for entertainment value. One may prefer modern music and attire, while the other likes retro era and vintage. One may use poles or props, and the other may leave her dancing ability to simply make the statement. One may perform to recorded music, the other to live. A burlesque show might have a comedian or emcee, no different from a good club DJ. There are so many creative and talented people on both sides. Some even manage to crossover from one to the other seamlessly. Look at Dita Von Tease! Where do you think she got her all her practice? I personally studied ballet, modern and jazz dance my entire life since 3 years old, attended performing arts middle school, high school and college. In adulthood, I have gained 13 years of experience working in over 200 strip clubs and performing in burlesque shows all over the country. I can tell you that there is no difference in the way I feel when I am onstage performing in front of an audience, from dance recitals to strip clubs to variety shows. It is empowering, it is a work out and I will never feel bad about making money from it! What does it matter to anyone why a woman wants to express herself? Who cares if it’s through sexual, artistic, spiritual, maternal, obedient, defiant, profitable, or philanthropic means? There are so many ways women express themselves and none of them have had a negative impact on the future of all womankind. We continue to make huge strides forward. For that, we should rejoice!

The multitude of negative connotations surrounding strippers and strip clubs (this also includes strip club owners, strip club DJ’s, bartenders, waitstaff, housemoms, restroom attendants, door girls, shooter girls, security and valet attendants) are most often wrong and not based on facts. Many of the adult establishments in this country are family-owned, being passed down from aging parents to their children and are viable businesses with which they can support future generations of their families. Some of the larger of these businesses are owned by executives and lawyers and are publicly-traded companies. The Association of Club Executives is a national organization, lead by a woman, and is a highly-diverse group of entrepreneurs, well educated in first amendment law. These people are fighting for what we all want, freedom! If you have never been to the Gentleman’s Club Owners Convention, held annually in Las Vegas, NV, then you probably do not even realize how many people are involved in this industry. Besides just the club owners and dancers, those who attend are lawyers, consultants, insurance companies, writers, photographers, webmasters, publishers, furniture maufacturers, clothing companies, sound, lighting and refrigeration equipment, jewelry makers, costume designers, dance schools and teachers, talent agencies, printing companies, liquor, beer, wine and food distributors, and many other business minded professionals, many of whom are women, who love what they do, are passionate and hard working and make a good living doing it. To lump these individuals into one lowly category would be a gross underestimation of their value. These are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts and uncles will are involved in a highly legitimate and lucrative industry. Please educate yourselves!

When you boil it down, burlesque strip teasers and strippers do the same thing…remove articles of clothing for entertainment value. One may prefer modern music and attire, while the other likes retro era and vintage. One may use poles or props, and the other may leave her dancing ability to simply make the statement. One may perform to recorded music, the other to live. A burlesque show might have a comedian or emcee, no different from a good club DJ. There are so many creative and talented people on both sides. Some even manage to crossover from one to the other seamlessly. Look at Dita Von Tease! Where do you think she got her all her practice?

I personally studied ballet, modern and jazz dance my entire life since 3 years old, attended performing arts middle school, high school and college. In adulthood, I have gained 13 years of experience working in over 200 strip clubs and performing in burlesque shows all over the country. I can tell you that there is no difference in the way I feel when I am onstage performing in front of an audience, from dance recitals to strip clubs to variety shows. It is empowering, it is a work out and I will never feel bad about making money from it!

]]> By: Natalie http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2699 Natalie Wed, 13 Apr 2011 15:02:35 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2699 I think that so many of the burlesque- and pole-dance enthusiasts commenting here are a little up in arms about your piece because you are talking about the potential harm to society that can be done by women expressing their sexuality in a public way. If you would spend some time in the post examining why society as a whole demonizes women who express themselves sexually instead of joining in on that demonization (whether you meant to or not), you would have a much more positive reaction to the piece. As women, we have been taught our entire lives that being pretty and/or sexual is something we should all aspire to, while being simultaneously taught that being pretty or sexual only means you are stupid, or a whore, or worse: both. These women are showing society that it is more than possible to be pretty and sexual, and also be smart and funny. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sex sells not only because we are all hardwired to want it for procreation purposes, but because it has been demonized by society as a whole, because it is taboo. These performers, whether they perform for personal/health reasons in private or for entertainment/empowerment reasons in public, are actually doing society a solid by showing that it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think that so many of the burlesque- and pole-dance enthusiasts commenting here are a little up in arms about your piece because you are talking about the potential harm to society that can be done by women expressing their sexuality in a public way. If you would spend some time in the post examining why society as a whole demonizes women who express themselves sexually instead of joining in on that demonization (whether you meant to or not), you would have a much more positive reaction to the piece.

As women, we have been taught our entire lives that being pretty and/or sexual is something we should all aspire to, while being simultaneously taught that being pretty or sexual only means you are stupid, or a whore, or worse: both. These women are showing society that it is more than possible to be pretty and sexual, and also be smart and funny. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Sex sells not only because we are all hardwired to want it for procreation purposes, but because it has been demonized by society as a whole, because it is taboo. These performers, whether they perform for personal/health reasons in private or for entertainment/empowerment reasons in public, are actually doing society a solid by showing that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

]]> By: Scott V. http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2698 Scott V. Mon, 11 Apr 2011 03:46:27 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2698 The Yard Dog Road Show, just look them up. Lilly Rose is the most! The Yard Dog Road Show, just look them up. Lilly Rose is the most!

]]> By: MC http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2697 MC Sun, 10 Apr 2011 02:04:28 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2697 Well, Bernadette, you said -- much better than I! -- what I'm trying to get at. I, too, celebrate women's sexuality and expression of that ... but in context of all else that is going on in our culture, I wonder where it all leads. And, who (or is it whom) will ultimately be empowered. I appreciate you reading the blog and adding your three cents. Means a lot to me, so thanks. MC Well, Bernadette, you said — much better than I! — what I’m trying to get at. I, too, celebrate women’s sexuality and expression of that … but in context of all else that is going on in our culture, I wonder where it all leads. And, who (or is it whom) will ultimately be empowered. I appreciate you reading the blog and adding your three cents. Means a lot to me, so thanks. MC

]]> By: Bernadette http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2696 Bernadette Sat, 09 Apr 2011 23:41:24 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2696 I am always so excited to see contemporary feminist debates being reignited in local contexts. Your essay brings up some great points, MC. Like you said, these questions are not specific to Sarasota, but are part of a larger framework. The fact is that we are still attempting to navigate the effects that a culture of sexualization has on women. Although I certainly cheer women's claim to sexuality as a celebrated part of human experience, we're now at that point in our culture where we have to face the sexualization of women (voluntary or otherwise) and all that it carries in tow. We have to deal with what is liberating about selling sex, but also what is limiting, or even damaging. It's really important is that we look critically at our culture and the current expression of sexual freedom embodied by things like Black Diamond Burlesque. It's not enough to simply claim that burlesque dancing is "empowering". Sure, women may feel powerful about getting paid to be sexy, receiving positive reinforcement about their bodies, or entertaining... But what does empowerment actually mean in this context, where a woman feels "powerful" for being treated as if her sexuality is her exclusive value? I am always so excited to see contemporary feminist debates being reignited in local contexts. Your essay brings up some great points, MC. Like you said, these questions are not specific to Sarasota, but are part of a larger framework. The fact is that we are still attempting to navigate the effects that a culture of sexualization has on women.

Although I certainly cheer women’s claim to sexuality as a celebrated part of human experience, we’re now at that point in our culture where we have to face the sexualization of women (voluntary or otherwise) and all that it carries in tow. We have to deal with what is liberating about selling sex, but also what is limiting, or even damaging. It’s really important is that we look critically at our culture and the current expression of sexual freedom embodied by things like Black Diamond Burlesque.

It’s not enough to simply claim that burlesque dancing is “empowering”. Sure, women may feel powerful about getting paid to be sexy, receiving positive reinforcement about their bodies, or entertaining… But what does empowerment actually mean in this context, where a woman feels “powerful” for being treated as if her sexuality is her exclusive value?

]]> By: Kayla http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2695 Kayla Sat, 09 Apr 2011 16:47:15 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2695 I would love to talk to you! I could even put you in touch with some former students- most of whom are very well educated and doing quite well for themselves. I think, at least on the side of burlesque education, it's something that will take time. Showing your ankle used to be scandalous but we got over that. Eventually it will be seen as something women do for fun and/or to make a statement and it will just be another art form- some will see it as too provocative while some will see as a beautiful expression of sexuality. Some will not care. Please feel free to contact me through my site if you want to set something up! I would love to talk to you! I could even put you in touch with some former students- most of whom are very well educated and doing quite well for themselves. I think, at least on the side of burlesque education, it’s something that will take time. Showing your ankle used to be scandalous but we got over that. Eventually it will be seen as something women do for fun and/or to make a statement and it will just be another art form- some will see it as too provocative while some will see as a beautiful expression of sexuality. Some will not care. Please feel free to contact me through my site if you want to set something up!

]]> By: MC http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2694 MC Sat, 09 Apr 2011 11:46:38 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2694 Billie, thanks for reading and commenting. yes, folks commenting here are very passionate -- and that's a good thing. we should all be passionate about what we love and value. and we should -- within legal and not-harmful parameters -- encourage others to be passionate. i think i clearly supported that in my column. but i did ask some hard questions about the overall effect of all that is going on with women in the world right now. just like a poledancer or a burlesque dancer or a Hooter server has every right to express her personal ideology and personality through (nearly) whatever she chooses to do -- so does a writer. thanks again for reading and commenting. Billie, thanks for reading and commenting. yes, folks commenting here are very passionate — and that’s a good thing. we should all be passionate about what we love and value. and we should — within legal and not-harmful parameters — encourage others to be passionate. i think i clearly supported that in my column. but i did ask some hard questions about the overall effect of all that is going on with women in the world right now. just like a poledancer or a burlesque dancer or a Hooter server has every right to express her personal ideology and personality through (nearly) whatever she chooses to do — so does a writer. thanks again for reading and commenting.

]]> By: MC http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2693 MC Sat, 09 Apr 2011 11:38:46 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2693 Noname -- thanks for reading the column and for commenting with your unique perspective. i went to bed last night wondering if indeed there were any women in my readership who might feel similarly/think similarly to what you expressed. as happy as i am to hear the perspective of the other women so far, i wanted very much also to know whether other women felt differently. or who at least felt that my columns questions were valid and important -- if all women are to be and feel empowered. i do think several of the women who pole-dance have said it's done for themselves, and that they don't even want an audience. i don't think burlesque is bad or poledancing is bad -- i said that in my column. -- but i do think it's important for women to be able to talk about it and look at it and ask each other questions about it -- to me that's true empowerment, even when they disagree. Noname — thanks for reading the column and for commenting with your unique perspective. i went to bed last night wondering if indeed there were any women in my readership who might feel similarly/think similarly to what you expressed. as happy as i am to hear the perspective of the other women so far, i wanted very much also to know whether other women felt differently. or who at least felt that my columns questions were valid and important — if all women are to be and feel empowered. i do think several of the women who pole-dance have said it’s done for themselves, and that they don’t even want an audience. i don’t think burlesque is bad or poledancing is bad — i said that in my column. — but i do think it’s important for women to be able to talk about it and look at it and ask each other questions about it — to me that’s true empowerment, even when they disagree.

]]> By: Billie http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2692 Billie Sat, 09 Apr 2011 03:08:59 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2692 You say you're not "dogging Burlesque", but I feel like you are. Burlesque is such a beautiful art form, a celebration of women, their curves, their humor, their creativity, and their braveness. You cannot seriously compare it to Hooters, Boat Races, and Sports Illustrated. I am not a Burlesque performer, but I have taken classes and it is very empowering. I also take pole dance classes and have regained my self confidence because of it. That right there is power. I've met wonderful "sisters", found passion for dance again, and realized that I do not have to be a size 0 to be beautiful and sexy. I think my friends have defended pole dance above quite nicely. Obviously, we are all very passionate about it. I just wanted to say that I think you were a little harsh on the amazing women of Burlesque. I think our world is more interesting because of them. Hooters girls I could care less about. You say you’re not “dogging Burlesque”, but I feel like you are. Burlesque is such a beautiful art form, a celebration of women, their curves, their humor, their creativity, and their braveness. You cannot seriously compare it to Hooters, Boat Races, and Sports Illustrated. I am not a Burlesque performer, but I have taken classes and it is very empowering. I also take pole dance classes and have regained my self confidence because of it. That right there is power. I’ve met wonderful “sisters”, found passion for dance again, and realized that I do not have to be a size 0 to be beautiful and sexy. I think my friends have defended pole dance above quite nicely. Obviously, we are all very passionate about it. I just wanted to say that I think you were a little harsh on the amazing women of Burlesque. I think our world is more interesting because of them. Hooters girls I could care less about.

]]> By: Noname http://www.mccoolidge.com/2011/04/07/the-gravy-train-of-selling-sex/#comment-2691 Noname Sat, 09 Apr 2011 02:19:36 +0000 http://www.mccoolidge.com/?p=7210#comment-2691 As much as I would love to argue the virtue of empowerment through burlesque, pole dancing, or stripping I think you are right to point out that the women involved are in fact doing more harm than good. I am a women's studies major and I can tell you all about the problems with women objectifying themselves in order to feel good. Perhaps the bigger question is: Would these women still do what they do without an audience? In the 80's Naomi Wolff wrote a book called "The Beauty Myth" and she speaks of the invisible and very transparent fact that women often try to find solace in the approval of other people rather than from within. I have met many women that have explained empowering situations such as stripping, burlesque, or even"picking up a guy at the bar." and in many cases they are victims without knowing it. Feminism has become complicated in the last decade but the spirit has always been about empowerment and equality for all women. It's been about "breaking the glass ceiling" and believing in having an equality amongst all sexes. Perhaps the greatest impact we can have in our society is to teach girls when they are young to believe in themselves and find self empowerment from within. Perhaps the greatest reality check is seeing your daughter misinterpret self empowerment with pasties and tassels. I guess we can't always get it right. As much as I would love to argue the virtue of empowerment through burlesque, pole dancing, or stripping I think you are right to point out that the women involved are in fact doing more harm than good. I am a women’s studies major and I can tell you all about the problems with women objectifying themselves in order to feel good. Perhaps the bigger question is: Would these women still do what they do without an audience? In the 80′s Naomi Wolff wrote a book called “The Beauty Myth” and she speaks of the invisible and very transparent fact that women often try to find solace in the approval of other people rather than from within. I have met many women that have explained empowering situations such as stripping, burlesque, or even”picking up a guy at the bar.” and in many cases they are victims without knowing it. Feminism has become complicated in the last decade but the spirit has always been about empowerment and equality for all women. It’s been about “breaking the glass ceiling” and believing in having an equality amongst all sexes. Perhaps the greatest impact we can have in our society is to teach girls when they are young to believe in themselves and find self empowerment from within. Perhaps the greatest reality check is seeing your daughter misinterpret self empowerment with pasties and tassels. I guess we can’t always get it right.

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