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Dawgs, dogs, and bitches

Lucky for me, I personally know very few people who are voting for the Palin/Joe the Plumber/McCain ticket.

But I do know a handful and here’s my snapshot of the three-headed Cerberus base:

Case study #1: Male, about 50, white, college-degree, owns his own business. By his own admission, hasn’t read a newspaper in years, except for the sports pages. In the several years I’ve known him, he has yet to have mentioned reading a book. When you talk politics with him, he references “facts” gleaned from Internet email forwards from people he doesn’t know. When you talk politics with him, he actually says stuff like, “Sarah’s hot.” (He never mentions McCain.)

Case study #2: Female, about 45 (just guessing), white. No education past high school. Reads quite a bit, she says. She, too, references Internet email forwards as her primary source of political acumen. She actually says stuff like, “Yeah, but I got an email that proves Obama is Muslim.” She, too, never mentions John McCain, but says she “loves Sarah McCain.” I’m not sure whether she means she loves Sarah Palin or Cindy McCain … but, hey, she knows she loves at least one of them!

Case study #3: Male, late 40s I think, white, college-degree. Pretty intelligent guy, from what I can tell. But the little I know about him — I think explains why a lot of MAMs (middle-aged males) are so goo-goo-eyed and ga-ga-brained over Palin.:

This guy seems to swoon over Palin’s down-home, eye-winking, smile-twinkling, big-breasted, long-hair, sexy glasses, oh, shucks, act. He seems charmed pant-less by her “I’m just a hockey mom/small-town gal” comments. But that’s only half of it.

He likes her brain too! He’s clearly head over heels with her politics: guns, shooting and gutting animals, drilling (and the vertiginous sexual imagery thereof), death penalty, anti-choice, anti-gays. By George, she’s a real man’s woman! And I think she makes him feel like a real man’s man.

I’m sure he imagines he could be happily married to a woman like Palin (if only he could get rid of his current wife) because she seems to really understand the difficulties of being a MAM in this day and age. (Yes, he’s actually commented that MAMS – particularly white MAMs – are getting totally screwed in America and not in the way they’d like to be.)

Only problem is, the minute he got someone like Palin home, he’d realize she’s one of the reasons MAMs are so angry and frustrated in the first place.

Oh, sure, MAMs across the country are besotted with Palin’s pit bull persona in theory, and case-study #3 in particular would think he was in a wet-dream with Palin’s skill in bilking Alaska out of a $50 per diem for 312 nights she spent at her own home (‘cause this guy is about nothing if not the dollar bill).

But, and I’m just guessing here: the minute he realized Palin’s public personality — sarcastic, belittling, greedy, ball-busting — doesn’t stop at the bedroom door — once he realized he was in bed with a real-live pit bull sporting bared teeth and snarling lips, however lipsticked they might be — I’m pretty sure he’d have an embarrassingly, um, not-so-hard time figuring out just which one of them was the real bitch in the bed.

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Posted on October 18th, 2008Comments RSS Feed
5 Responses to Dawgs, dogs, and bitches
  1. I work with 3 “college educated”, 50 to 60 year old males, who insist that Barack Hussein Obama is a “muslim” and “terrorist” and our country is in the financial shape it is today because of “Bill Clinton”. It’s really hard for me to understand the logic in these sentiments probably because there isn’t any of course.Mccain’s speech at the Smith banquet this week ,where they both appeared at, truly sounded like a concession speech to me. Also,please read Peggy Noonan’s(former speechwriter for Ronald Reagan) column in todays WSJ- her comments on Palin were surprising(but right on) knowing her allegiance to the GOP.The not so positive reality is that we are so deep into this economic hole that even Obama won’t be able to pull us out of it.

    Reply
  2. Whoa MC take it easy……The election is over and no need to be so angry at this point.Obama wins in a huge landslide and really I am not happy how things have turned out at this point.I will not discuss my views here but again to dismiss opposing views in this fashion really is beneath you .Like Siesta Surfer said Clinton is the one who put us in this terrible mess and really history tells us so……Obama better surround himself with the best minds in the business as we are in deep sh– and no smooth rhetoric will bail us out of this landfill that both sides put us in !!!!

    Reply
  3. Being held hostage in a Blue State
    October 19, 2008 at 5:48 am

    Not so fast………. it ain’t over yet

    Reply
  4. Being held hostage in a Blue State
    October 19, 2008 at 5:57 am

    You and Sarah Palin have a lot more in common than you can bring yourself to admit. It is the overall reasoning for your angst regarding the VP candidate

    Reply
  5. You r too funny
    I wished I’d come across your blog a year ago
    This MAM however hates winking in political figures and now we get to see her
    winking and smiling everyday on fox
    Fair and Unbalanced!

    Reply

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