The gravy train of selling sex

(This essay ran in my Sense and the City column in today’s Sarasota Herald Tribune TICKET, but for some reason they didn’t post it online — so I’m posting the piece below. All rights reserved by the Sarasota Herald Tribune.)

I just can’t get into the whole pole-dancing and burlesque scene that, by all accounts, is sizzling up the sexy quotient in Sarasota.

Go ahead, call me a prude. But before you get your knickers in a twist, let me assure you – I could care less who likes taking their clothes off and who likes paying for the pleasure of watching them do it. I have no personal objection or moral disagreement with it. But I do have a question or two. (more…)

“Uncivil liberties” — my op/ed in today’s Sarasota Herald Tribune

If you have the time, I hope you’ll take a moment to click on the link for this opinion piece that I wrote that appears in today’s Sarasota Herald Tribune.

Main Street youths take uncivil liberties.

It’s about what happened to me and a date recently when we went out for dinner on Main Street in Sarasota. Well, it’s about a lot more than that … . (more…)

Books from old friends …

I received a package in the mail yesterday. A box from a place where I didn’t think I knew anyone, really.

Inside was a collection of books taken from a man’s bookshelf and sent along to me … on the off chance that I might welcome them and find a place for them in my home. If not, then to pass them along to someone who might.

Auden, Wallace, etc. Einstein made a bed of the box for the night, while I flipped pages.

Strange to be remembered from so long ago. Him, spring cleaning. Me, now, fall remembering. The Greek Festival that was our first date. And other moments. A Christmas phone call from where was he then — Afghanistan? A visit in New Hampshire. A postcard from D.C.

And he remembers me — for my love of books and for my writing.

Gotta Vote for Geckos!

I love Sarasota’s hometown, locally-owned all-round great meet-up/sports bar Gecko’s Grill and Pub! I love their nachos — veggie style.

If you’re a fan like me, you can cast a vote — do it before April 4 — for Gecko’s in the Sarasota Herald Tribune’s “Best Sports Bar Showdown — at www.ticketsarasota.com.

Book Junkie’s Paradise

Hi. My name is MC, and I’m an addict.

But before you go thinking I’m mainlining vodka, let me clarify: (more…)

Fun on St. Armands

Thanks to everyone who came out to St. Armands Circle on Sunday to say hello, meet me for the first time, or buy a copy of my book (in some cases all three!) at Circle Books. It was so fun — I LOVE being in locally-owned, old-fashioned bookstores where the guys and gals behind the counter know the books on their shelves and can recommend cool reads to customers. (more…)

Romance … suspense … and standing up for what’s right

In 2008, when I was under fire at the Pelican Press for my “Reality Chick” columns that dealt with politics and race, a New York Times bestselling author publicly stood up for the issues of free speech, and for my columns that were making some people uncomfortable. That author was Suzanne Brockmann who lives part of the year in Sarasota where she takes advantage of the peace and quiet of our town to write her very famous romance and suspense genre novels, and lives the other part of the year in Boston.

I’ve never forgotten the kindness of Brockmann in standing up for another writer — someone she didn’t know at all, except for having read my column. It’s honestly not that often that public figures, at least locally, weigh in on controversy.

Brockmann’s in town tomorrow — Tuesday, March 22nd — celebrating the publishing of her 50th novel (this girl can write!) — and the seventeenth in her very popular “Troubleshooter” series, Breaking the Rules. She’ll be discussing her writing, taking questions, giving answers, and signing books, of course, beginning at 7 p.m., at Barnes and Noble near the intersection of Bee Ridge and U.S. 41 in Sarasota (4010 Tamiami Trail).

Publisher’s Weekly gave the book Breaking the Rules starred review and described the book as a narrative that ” reaffirms the importance of? family.” The book also is a romantic shot in the arm for fans of the series who will see the “steamy” rekindling of the relationship between the well-known characters of Izzy and Eden. Romantic Times gave the book four-and-a-half
stars and named it a “Top Pick,” describing it as a”Fast-paced and filled with emotional landmines… a great story full of old friends and new adventures.”

I’ve read some of Brockmann’s books — she’s a compelling storyteller and she delivers the goods. Check her out at Barnes and Noble tomorrow night and tell her MC sent you!

Super cool super moon … la lune!! la lune!!!

Should be rising around 7 pm in these parts ’round here! Don’t miss it!

Signing Sideways in Sarasota

Well, actually, I’ll sign straight-ways … copies of my book, Sideways in Sarasota, that is.

I’m doing a book signing event at Circle Books Sunday from 11 am to 1 pm. Swing by if you’d like to buy a copy of my book — which is a collection of newspaper columns about everything from dating, to not dating (married men!), to getting older, to blue crabs swimming in the waterways of Sarasota, to political stuff and social commentary. It’s all there.

Circle Books is located at 478 John Ringling Boulevard on St. Armands Circle. Coming across the bridge toward the Circle, it’s basically on your left almost right across from Foxy Lady, I think. Which is a good thing, because that way you can avoid the traffic at the roundabout a couple of blocks further down.

Even if you don’t want the book, c’mon out and say hello!

It’s fashionista to be a feminista

My Sense and the City column in today’s Sarasota Herald-Tribune (all photos courtesy of Cliff Roles Photography:

The Women’s Resource Center of Sarasota recently held its 4th Annual Frances Kraaymes Lecture. This year, the event was a panel discussion on “Men, Women & Relationships,” moderated by Dr. Willa Bernhard, who posed questions such as, “How have your relationships with the opposite sex changed since your 20s?”, and, “What has affected the balance of power in your relationships?”

I was one of the panelists, and while I can’t claim the professional bona fides of the others

– author Dr. Nancy Schlossberg; Ringling College of Art and Design President Dr. Larry Thompson; local physician Dr. Jon Yenari; the Honorable Larry Eger, Public Defender; and mental health therapist Lauren Alston of Coastal Behavioral Healthcare — I still had plenty to say about how physical attractiveness, financial ability, sexual viability, and aging can tip the balance of power in personal relationships..

The discussion was lively: opinions flew, and amid a lot of straight talk and good humor, the panelists shared personal experiences and perspectives about male/female roles, communication, child-rearing, money, housework, even online porn. It was a refreshingly frank conversation, slightly rare in Sarasota, but judging by the audience response, very welcome.

I learned a lot from the panelists, and I’d like to think I shared something as well. For example, after I commented that one of the reasons U.S. women continue to struggle for power in their relationships and within their communities is because they’re still earning under eighty cents for every dollar a man earns in comparable jobs, one panelist stated that he wasn’t aware of any such discrepancy. I muzzled my impersonation of Scooby-Doo’s quizzical woof of disbelief –“Huhrrrr?”, but wondered how anyone in the working world could be unaware of the pay gap between men and women. (To learn more about the Paycheck Fairness Act, visit www.whitehouse.gov/issues/women.)

Another interesting point was raised when one panelist said the word “feminist” was irrelevant in his work and home life because he’s already so egalitarian that self-describing as a feminist would be moot. I’ve heard that argument before – that women have come so far, there’s no longer a need for either sex to carry the “feminist” calling card.

The word has always carried a lot of “angry-female” baggage, exacerbated by Rush Limbaugh’s coinage of the term, “Feminazi.” I’m a feminist and don’t mind saying so, but in the past decade, fewer and fewer of my friends use the term. I’ve got girlfriends who pay half the mortgage and expect their husbands to help change the diapers, and men friends who gladly let their wives bring home the bigger slice of bacon and want their daughters to have every opportunity to grow up to be President, but in both groups, many say, “I wouldn’t call myself a feminist.” As if it’s a dirty word.

But judging by the comments made by my fellow Kraaymes panelists, there’s a new breed of modern-day feminists out there — the men on the panel talked about how they share responsibilities and chores with their wives, and the women talked about how they contribute their fair share financially to their relationships –even if none of them used the dreaded “F-bomb” to describe themselves specifically.

So, taking a page from the Limbaugh playbook, I’m coining my own term to describe anyone who believes in the “social, political, and economic equality of the sexes” (that’s the definition of feminism, by the way). This new word isn’t really new — it’s just the Spanish word for feminist – feminista. But just like the Italian word “barista” turned coffee servers everywhere into über-hip coffee designers, I’m betting “feminista” will finally make it fashionable to be a feminist. And in any language, I’d call that fabulous.